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Big Brother 19 Episode Article - Zing This, You Annoying Morons!!!

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  • Big Brother 19 Episode Article - Zing This, You Annoying Morons!!!


    Zing This, You Annoying Morons!!!


    Greetings My Loyal Minions, Maxx Fisher Here

    This season has been a total shit show. There is no getting around it. This is easily one of the worst seasons that they've ever had. We had they slutty winter season. The racist season. The season that had Andy. All horrible seasons. All horrible seasons, but this one might be the worst. Horrible Houseguests, bullying, morons, Paul. The only redeeming thing about the season was a women with giant boobs who didn't seem to be able to keep her shirt on. Watching the show this season is punishment. It's like I've invited someone into my house to insult me right to my face, but more on that later.

    We begin the episode with the aftermath of a joke of a Nomination Ceremony. Matt & Jason are on the block. Why would Christmas do that? How did they anger her? Nonsense. Every knows that Mark is her target and he isn't nominated on the off chance he won't be picked to play in the Veto. The backdoor Veto plan was great when they came up with it in season 5, you know, 13 year ago. But we are long past the point where they need to find a way to do away with that. Maybe randomly rotate the number of people that will play in the Veto without telling anyone until they pick.

    Mark knows that he is the target and he is doing everything he can to stay in the house. He is telling Christmas & Josh that he aligned with the wrong people in the game, he gives Paul the safety temptation he got. What else could he do. Everyone knew it was a pointless bribe. Paul was safe, because of course he is, and who else could Mark even give it to? Later in the episode Mark goes to Christmas & Josh and tells them if they keep him, he will be devoted to them. Win competitions for them, keep them safe, be a vote for them. After he leaves the room they discuss everything he proposed. They both agree that mark made great points, especially getting rid of Alex & Jason because they could go on a competition run. But Paul wants Mark gone so no amount of logic or individual opinion matters if Paul wants something.

    Paul, the narcissistic asshole tool that he is, tells us from the diary room his foolproof strategy to win. He needs to take people to the end that he can beat and send people to the jury house that will vote for him. His plan is to have everyone take out everyone else so he doesn't get blood on his hands. He wants to bring Christmas, Josh, Raven & Kevin to the final 5. He believes that he can beat all of them in the various competitions and if he happens to lose, one of them will take him to the final 2. The worst thing about all of this is that this annoying zit on the taint of life is right. These dumbshits can't wait to lose to Paul. It's like Paul is a diminutive, annoying Batman and everyone else in the house is Kite-Man, just waiting for the Dark Knight to throw him in jail.

    Those pain killers Christmas is taking must be pretty strong because when she gets Houseguest Pick for the Veto she picks Raven. RAVEN!!! This is your brain on drugs. But Mark also gets picked and there is just one person in the house happy about that, and his name is Mark. The only other people happy that he gets to play in the Veto is every single person that is watching this show.

    This is the Zingbot episode everyone. Try not to lose your minds. A man in a robot suit is in the house, mildly making fun of people. It was all very sad.
    • Raven got called a clown because she looks like a blind 8 year old with only 3 fingers put her make-up on. She doesn't get the insult and refers to herself as Arkansassy. You just know she thinks that phrase is sweeping America.
    • Mark gets ridiculed for not sleeping with Elena. But I'm pretty sure he did sleep with her so this one is nonsensical.
    • Jason is called dead weight being carried through the game by Alex. It's not wrong.
    • Josh get's called fat. That's the best they could come up with? The list of things wrong with Josh is fairly infinite.
    • Paul didn't win $500,000 last year. See my complaint about Josh, but Paul's list is 10 times longer
    • Matt bangs Raven. Who is being insulted here?
    • Kevin's old and his weird plans to stay young don't work.
    • For Christmas we get the 12 Days of Christmas about her foot injury and it ends by bashing Jason.
    • And finally, I'm pretty sure that Zingbot called Alex a whore. They bleeped it, but still, it seems like that is exactly what happened.

    It's time for the Veto! It's the slip & slide competition we have each year that is pretty much saved exclusively for an HOH Challenge. Mark is a giant, ogre of a man. He has absolutely no chance of winning this. Christmas had a better shot of winning and she couldn't even compete. He falls a lot. Josh makes fun of him for that. Josh probably couldn't get 5 feet if he tried to play this particular game. Mark did so bad that Paul decided not to bother about halfway through the competition. Jason won because his legs are about 5 feet long all on their own.

    As I said earlier, Mark really made a good case to stay when he spoke to Christmas. But, once again, that's not what Paul wants. At the Veto Ceremony, after Jason takes himself off the block, Christmas tells Mark that he did her a favor earlier in the season by not voting for her to go. She returned the favor by listening to him. What a goddamn humanitarian.

    I leave you with this, my slippery concubines, can anything save mark at this point? Hell, can anything save this season at this point? Honestly I just want this garbage season to end. I've resigned myself to the fact that Paul will win this season. I have gone through all the stages of grief over this. My only hope is that the 3 finalists for America's Favorite Player are Cody, Jessica and Mark. This will be the first indication to all of the others in the house that they might not be seen as very good people. Like they are the worst of the worst season of a fairly skeezy reality show. Zing!

    • Synnamin
      #1
      Synnamin commented
      Editing a comment
      ~*Good article Maxx!!!
    Posting comments is disabled.

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  • Big Brother 19 Episode Article - Zing This, You Annoying Morons!!!
    Maxx Fisher

    Zing This, You Annoying Morons!!!


    Greetings My Loyal Minions, Maxx Fisher Here

    This season has been a total shit show. There is no getting around it. This is easily one of the worst seasons that they've ever had. We had they slutty winter season. The racist season. The season that had Andy. All horrible seasons. All horrible seasons, but this one might be the worst. Horrible Houseguests, bullying, morons, Paul. The only redeeming thing about the season was...
    08-24-2017, 03:13 AM
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